NEW DECADE83
BlissAnd niao, mai bootifull New Years "speech":
So my resolutions? To communicate more. Except, that resolution started in August 2009. So I'll just keep trying it haha. So far it's doin' me better than I was off before.
Another would be to stay on the track of my train of thought, and stay on it until it ends. Like getting homework and not waiting until I sleep. That could get me behind and in highschool, you really gotta keep those grades up. And since I've been procrastinating, I've also had barely any time for doing whatever I want. So if I stay on track and get whatever I'm doing first done, I can move onto something rewarding.
I will try working on Silas and The Brightest Star some more, as well as art for not just me but all of you fabulous peoples. <3 Speaking of that, I must finish commissions... That shall be another resolution, perhaps. ^-^
Anywho, I shall also practice drumming on a frequent basis. If I practice once a day, I've already figured out, I will improve. Every second counts in life. I might as well make every one of those counted seconds worth it. I really hope to get my name out there. I've hoped this since I was born. So, I was born to do it. To take a place in the world.
My dreams/goals/hopes for the future may be bizarre, but they are what keep driving me to live on. To act, to make music, to draw. All of these express my feelings. They keep me breathing!!
I really do hope whoever reads this has something to look forward in their life that keeps them alive like I do. And I hope you all get the support you need, too.Speaking of support and my dreams, I want to thank anyone who reads this for their support for me. Without deviantART, I would be nowhere in my art right now. I wouldn't have such interesting imagination when it comes to comics, or the urge to improve. I wouldn't have ever met the wolf-drawing community. I can keep in touch with tons of fellow (and fella
) artists out there, whether it be a few neighborhoods down or across the world.Edit 1-1-10: Sorry journal is so big! And I wrote so much. So Imma make it rly tiny. Bwaha. And for the times i don't have all the support I need, that just drives me more to prove what I can do. My life is filled with obstacles [you know, like father whom i live with lost his job, tough time at school, being judged so harshly, my time(s) of depression, father threatenings, so many things about my body that no one knows about that could be fairly serious to my life, dropping grades--though still good, distrusts, losing friends--while making new ones, nervous breakdowns, family dating family, minor self-injuries ...let's not get carried away...] but what doesn't kill me just makes me stronger.
2009 was tough, but it just made us all realize what good things we have. I have a house, food, clothes, and friends. That's what makes me happy.Not to mention the year Hershey passed away. In March. Only 2 weeks after his 2nd birthday. Death dragged me into depression, because then all I could tell myself was Hershey was the only reason I was happy, because whenever I saw him, he made me smile, no matter how sad I was. This is a little personal, so you don't have to read it, but; when I was depressed my father threatened to get me professional help, and I didn't like that. He said I was mad at the world or something. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty down looking and like...through my shoe at a glass and broke it once, but, come on. Everyone has those moments. Luckily for me, (and this is a really ironic thing for me) when school came back in my depression lost.
And I still fight it back ^3^ I try to hold up my happiness and show it to the eyes of everyone around me, to let them know I'm on this earth for a reason.Woah, getting a little deep, eh? Sorry, I did get carried away with that hahaha. I don't know what it sounds like to you when I say I'm on this earth for a reason. o.0 Does it sound weird? 'Cause all I mean (sry it's hard typing on a laptop slanted up hahah) is I do want to do something with my life. I don't want to be one of those people just watching from outside. I want to be inside, giving the watchers something from my heart.
So these dreams. I have worked since I was a kid to improve or learn about these.
Acting: ever since I could think about other people's actions, I study actors in movies. I've always wanted to be an actor. Forever. Though I must say it's probably the hardest for me, because I do NOT do well in front of crowds or even a small group of people. I only act strange to the closest people to me. I've also researched to the bone of how to become an actress. I did a whole report on it.
Filming: I guess this fits in the same category, eh? Anyway, I like filming/photographing as well. I was a camera-man and brought up ideas for my junior high news program. So I know a few things about cameras.
I have a cheap HD camera and ~MoonWolf12 and I filmed something on it once but I never finished it haha. A bad thing is the file is sooo big, and it takes forever to load, so I never started editing it, either. I think I need to slow down, lol. But anyway, I've written a few scripts as well. It's fun coming up with skits. :] During the filming [at 6 AM, btw] I also learned I am a makeup master. Lolol.Drawing: I've seriously been drawing (and writing) since I could hold a pencil. I've always been the best drawer in class. My parents have always supported my drawing skill (and only my drawing skill). When I was younger, I was always asked, "Do you want to be an artist when you grow up?" and probably to your surprise, I would say, "No." To be honest, I LOVE drawing and letting anything out with it, but I don't want it to be my life. When I'm out of school, I'm just wanting art to be a side job. You know, like commissions. It'd be cool to publish a graphic novel, too. But that's hard to tell, and a long way off. All in all, art is important to me and will help me with my life.
Music: I've always wanted to be in a band since I ever listened to music, too. When we were little, my neighbors and we (sister and me) pretended to be in a band. I've always wanted to play electric guitar (who doesn't? oh yeah, my dad) and sing. But sadly my singing voice isn't very matured
And my sister got an acoustic guitar before I could ask for anything. My brother can play tons of instruments. I'm not joking around. Clarinet, bass clarinet, sax, flute, fife, you name it. [But he can't sing.] Soon my sister got a violin and now plays that. And I was left without anything music related, because my parents were so heavily concentrated on giving me art related stuff. Since I had a full mouth of teeth I've had a far-off feeling for playing drums (long story short: I always chattered my teeth together so it sounded like a drumset. crazy i know but i sounded real to me) and in fifth grade I told myself "that's my instrument."And here's where this year comes in:
2009. This is is like. Wow. Sooo many things happened. I opened up to so much more music. And found the type of music that I like. I got so involved with my music that I started feeling that I needed to make some music of my own. You see, me listening to music is like a future-photographer being photographed, or a doctor-to-be being hospitalized. I get this feeling inside that I want to produce something of my own.
So I kept telling my dad I want to play drums, but he just denied I'd ever be able to every time. He told me to concentrate on my art. I threatened to stop drawing if he wouldn't believe me, but he just took it a different [harmless to my art] way.
When school came in, though, things got better. You see, for some reason my brother was liking me better at the moment. So he called his friends (at least 2 of which are drummers) to see if they had anything that could help me. One gave my a practice pad (and sticks that I still use now) and the other an expensive pair of sticks (pfft. my brother kept those). I actually kept this secret from my dad for quite some time.
But anyway, I finally got a chance to tell my mother as well (actually I did this in the summer) and surprisingly she didn't really believe in me either. Which shocked me. But I kept trying to prove to them I will one day be able to. To drum.
Soooo, I researched. I read up on drumming, and drums. I learned notes. I learned a lot, and I didn't even have a set. To this day I've never played on a real set, still. My grandparents have a realllly old set with barely any parts and it's in bad shape. My dad's girlfriend's son has a set, and the family said it was a nice kit. I went to try it out and it was like... poop. And my set is electric, so it really isn't... well, a real set.
Anyway, I went on about the drumming thing for so long that my dad finally gave in and said i could buy myself a set, as long as it was electric. So I was looking for the right set for months that's in good shape, has nice features, yet under my oh-so-low budget of my life savings. I FINALLY found a set on Craigslist and bought it from a guitarist whose band was having a gig near where I lived. Ah, it feels good to own an instrument.
And now I shall practice, practice, practice.It sounds fishy but this dream ends with me being in my band, all of us happy, and producing songs. I could produce songs if I got good enough. Besides, my brother knows how, too. Hopefully music will be a way I will be able to earn side money, just like art, by selling music. My brother is already trying to do that himself.
Needless to say, I'm happy with the obstacles, challenges, and new rewards 2009 has brought me. It took me 1 and a half hours to type this, and so, I WISH YOU ALL A MERRY EASTER.
Congrats to anyone who read that. I feel like I've talked about myself too much. Please let me know about your year and your hopes and dreams for the new decade!
End edit/Old:
aka AkiWauzi aka Meepo deactivated her account, just recently, too! I don't know what happened but I hope you are okay 
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