Sometime in April, I think:

News:
Oops, sorry about not updating in a biiig while!!!! Well, here it is... all the news...

Herhsey:
Well Herhsey's birthday was on March 6th, and two weeks later he died overnight. About a week before his peace, he had a seizure.

He was fine, sleeping on the couch, my sister and I were watching TV or something, and my dad was in the garage working on his wood stuff. My brother... Idk. I never know where he is. Anyway, I heard Hershey's tags bang together and looked over, thinking he was just trying to get up, moving his legs and struggling. Less than a second later I realized it was serious and he kept struggling, his legs trembling and his eyes looking nowhere. For a second neither of us knew what to do, just staring at him. Then I told her to get over there while I get my dad, which I did. We came back, holding him, trying to end it. Hershey finally stopped, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. I opened his mouth and it slid back in. He was fine, just shocked. From then on whenever he was sleeping (which was a lot) I was near him.

Then, the night before he passed, I had him sleep in my lap for most of the day 'till the end. I knew, somehow, deep in my heart, which I didn't want to listen to, that that would have been his last night. His breathing was very shallow. Finally when I put him to his crate, I knew but didn't listen to myself neither did I tell anyone his fate of that night. My dad told me the take his collar off, and I did. I didn't want to take it off just in case he could have had another seizure, silently. But I did... and knew that was the last he'll wear it.

When I went to bed, I saw at my digital clock that it was one of those times like 11:11pm. Those are supposed to be magical times and you're supposed to wish something when you see it. I thought, maybe, if I wished for Herhsey to survive that night, it might work that one time. But I also thought it was no use. Nothing could help him now. And I knew... well duh.

The next morning, I awoke many times half-awake by my sister balling beneath me on our bunk bed. I was half-awake, remember, so I was thinking "Oh you big baby... I'm trying to sleep here. Maybe I should go down and comfort her. It's probably just a nightmare." Then when I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep, I finally realized it-- what would my sister, Hershey's owner, sob about the most? It seemed like hours of crying. It was Hershey. I had been right. I felt like going down and comforting her again, but I didn't have the guts.

So the day went on. When I went to my dad's room (where Hershey sleeps in his crate) to pick out clothes, I went to his cage. I slipped my hand in there, just to feel him one last time. His fur was so memorable, but now I wish I could feel it more. (I do have some fur from brushing him one time in a bag somewhere. I think my dad threw it away though...) That's when it hit me. I hadn't cried the whole day, and when I felt his cold, stiff body (yes I washed my hands after) I started to silently tear. Life wouldn't be right without him. I didn't believe he was gone. I felt he was still with us. He couldn't just come into life, pass through tough obstacles in life for 2 years, and leave so suddenly. At first I didn't even believe he was dead. I felt that magic could be real and when I walk home the next school day I would see him in the window, wagging his tail and greeting us like he usually had.

But he was gone. We had the funeral, some of the next door neighbors (who have a Yorkipoo that's like a year older than Hershey or more), my dad, my sister (balling), me, and my dad's girlfriend (now broken up). My brother didn't even know about it until the end of the day, when we told him, and he was like (unsympathetically) "Oh. I knew it would come sometime soon. Oh well." Again, to Hershey "not being dead," I kept thinking I would hear him, feel him, see him, somehow. He had to have been with us. I was staring straight at his corpse. He looked alive. I thought I saw his chest move, I thought it could start moving again. But i was wrong. Maybe I'll even write a book about him in my Hershey's Chocolate journal someday. But hey, I have an all-life-long writer's block and I can't write for junk pile.

So anyway, yeah he's dead... I still need to paint his portrait on one of his raw hides (which are probably thrown away). I thought of that idea when my brother told me that canvases and raw hides are almost the same material, so I thought it would be cool to paint on one. But I also have a small oval canvas, perfect for a dog portrait.

Weather/Fun:
It's SOO hot here!!!!
Actually it's on-off. It's always like that here. Yesterday was pretty hot, today it's steaaaaming on and my dad doesn't want to have the air-conditioning on so it's been 85 degrees F in the house alone, with the windows open, and it's really windy outside too. But then, I think Monday it's supposed to get cold and stormy again. On... Off... On... Off...

The good thing is is that on hot sunny days it's easy for me to tan. Well... today... I got a slight tan but I could only stay out for like an hour because it was so freakin' hot! It was terrible. Hahah.

There are some fun things... Walking downtown (which is a mile away from my house or less idk) is quite fun if I'm with a friend. We went to Handels... yum. We went to a shoe store too, and were goofin' around. I found some shoes I really wanted but that darn store was way to pricey for me. Then we tried on a lotta high heels. I hate high heels lolol. Then we got kicked out!! Apparently they let us in and it was actually time to close up, and they thought we were gonna buy something. Harhar sorry to them! Then we were gonna check out Squeeze but didn't want to go in, think it was too pricey, and just walk out.

Then we walked home... There's a neighborhood I frankly never knew about right behind my small neighborhood. And apparently there's nooses. Hahaha. Funfun.

We also boarded a whole lot!!!! With the Wave board (ripstick)!! It's so much fun... Yeah... A little hard to master though. I haven't mastered it yet (by far). Then I tried by myself, got a long way, tried again, jumped off of it on the curb, and it slid under my neighbor's car! It was stuck and I finally got it out but a nail was pulled out of the car... Errrr.... But the next day the car was gone (it was a friend's car) and nothing was wrong. But yeah, skating off the curb is fun!!! My street is slanty so it sort of leads the board down the road. With ripsticks, you can't use one foot to push yourself (at least not most of us ha). It only has two wheels and they have a 360 degrees turn. And the two parts of the board rotate. You have to skate back and forth to accelerate. And the street is also like round, so I sort of skated to the curb and kept falling off because I got stuck in the cracks!

17 Again:
I also saw 17 Again on the opening night!!! It was HILARIOUS!! Omgomg he's so much hotter now!! T.T Sorry. NO I'm not obsessed with Zac Efron. o0 Never was. My sister used to be. I just think he's hott. Except for when he kissed his wife. That was wrong. Well, story terms, it's okay. Real life terms, eww. Also when we saw it we saw our English teacher, who is funny and weird, with a whooooole bunch of little girls. Shehad a peace sign shirt with tie-dye. XDDDD They went to see the Hannah Montana movie. Lol.

School:
All I can say is DIIIIE SCHOOL DIIIIIIE!!!!!!!! Coughcough... Well I think I may be close to failing English. Her tests are whack! I don't think she does a fair job at creating questions or grading them. One of our projects was to make a license plate design for one of the Romeo and Juliet characters. I think mine was one of the bests, if not, the best. I even did this long paragraph on the back like she said to do. Yet... when I got it back, it said 9/10. I was furious! Everyone else got a 10/10. Even the many people that scribbled a mess right before they turned it in, and didn't even right anything on the back. I tell you, it's NOT fair. All my life I've gotten all A's and B's, lately all A's, and this'll probably be my first C... D... idk, in my whole life. We get our midterm grades this Friday. Yay, can't wait. -_-

School ends early this year. Like... May 26th or something like that. But that's only because we started it early too. We only get like what... 8, maybe 10 weeks of summer? Winter break has been getting longer though. Another break changed from like 3 days to a whole week now too, I think. But the sad thing is that we don't get anymore breaks this year. Not even flex days. We haven't had a single flex days yet because all of them have been filled in by snow days. And we get NO MORE half days, ever. Not this year, not next year. Ever. Our new county person thinks half days don't count as a whole day. So we get full days all year long. I bet if we have 2-hour delays, that'll count to fill in a day too then.

Art:
I haven't been drawing much digital art or masterpieces lately. So sorry!! I've been so freakin' busy and have almost 500 deviations to view, read, and comment on. But I have been checking back lately so if you want to comment me, I'll still respond!!

But there is one thing I have gotten to do. I've painted a 12x12in painting of a Schkipperkee called Dewey, also in the sky with Hershey and blind. I put lots of effort into that one. :3 It took me 8 hours to complete. And I'm pretty proud of the finish. Even though there are some imperfect flaws, it's still great for a beginner like me! The painting is for ~suneria12. If she doesn't want it that's very fine with me. But if she still wants to pay for it, the money will still go to Hershey's exploration operation money. Oh yeah, I might have transformed Dewey into her puppiness... I just thought it would look better. Anddd I'll get it scanned soon and up here on dA so you can see it before making any decisions. :3

Yup
So that's it for now... There's probably a lot more to say.. But right now it's 11 pm and I need some sleep. I haven't been getting much lately. Cheers to those who read this roflol. Ciao!!






1-30-09:
<sup><sub>Apparently Hershey was going to get the operation. It was so sudden. My dad kinda lied to us... Completely different then what my mom found out when we gave her the vet's info to find out what was really going on.

So Hershey got the operation on Wednesday morning (1-28-09) just to find out they couldn't find anything on his liver. Or kidney. They couldn't do anything to help except for take away his bladder stones.

Hershey was kept in a stinky, cold cage they rest of the day and next morning. He had a fleece blanket over him because, well because of the operation he's all messed up now and his body has trouble producing body heat. He can't breathe clearly. He can't jump. He doesn't play. All he does all day is sleep still.

When he came home he had one of those cone collars on!!! He's had one before, but it wasn't this bad. He had one because of a thing they had to tape to his leg to keep him healthy when he was a puppy after the almost-dying incident happened. This time he's wearing it because of his sewn-up stomach. But it didn't help--it just kept bleeding.

I don't think the vets did a very good job of stitching his tummy back up. So the cut was from his chest all the way across his... place.

You know what? We are pretty sure they neutered him. Even if that's healthier for him, it took his manliness away hahaha. And that lessens the chance of him becoming active again.

When they cut his stomach open, they cut right across his misshaped nipple! Long story short: the time he went to the groomer's, they accidentally cut one of Hershey's nipples. It regrew in the middle of his belly. And now it's gone because the vets cut straight across it. XDDD Oh, the Hershey times we've had.

I'm going to miss him. No, he's still not going to live his full life. Like I said, the vets could not find what was wrong with his liver, therefore could not do anything for him. I'm glad at least one of my friends is praying for him though. (you know who you are hahahha) And I'm very thankful and sorry for my mom, who is paying for the operation. It's pretty sad because she loves this kid so much that she's willing to pay a fourth of the money she gets every year for a Yorkie puppy she probably won't be able to see again before he dies, when she doesn't even have her own house yet and works 3 jobs. With the commissions I've got and will finish, the money will go to her.

And just to say... Thanks for the support guys.

------------------------------
Really bad news. I won't be needing commissions anymore, so don't bother. Suneria, I will still do yours since Dracoinian has already started drawing your dragon. And since I know you loved your Dewey very much. If anyone still wants to commission me I'm fine, but it won't be for Hershey anymore...


The thing is, he can't get the operation. It's not gonna happen. If it did, it wouldn't do anything. He's going to die... in a few days...

Here's what he's been doing the last few days:

All winter break he was extremely hyper from his meds. I went to my mom's and we couldn't have him. When I got back at my house (my dad's) he was back to being cuddly. A few days ago, he started feeling sick again. Today, when I got back from school, he has lost his senses again. Can't see... Drools a ton... Keeps running into things and walking against walls... I can't believe this. It was bad but right when my dad struck it to us that he only had a few DAYS left, that's what hit us. I even made calendar pages with him on it! I was planning on printing it on Lulu or Zazzle, but that's only going to bring sad memories every time we look up a date.

I just can't believe it... Only... 1 year and 8 months to live... All this time I've always thought of how he was going to be practically older than me when he's years older. I just can't believe all of the changes he's made in our lives, yet he's only got this far. Even if we consider getting another dog, my family cannot afford it. My little SISTER used all of her life saving's for Hershey.

Oh... and...


I blame the breeder.

She's been taken to court once for goodness' sake!!! All the dogs were sick when we bought Hershey. If my dad believed in suing, I think we should. That dog is my LIFE. My Edward Panini! He changed it! He is the only thing that makes me happy when I'm depressed, the only thing that gets me out of bed in the early mornings when I'm overlly tired. He is SMART. Tons of tricks. The cutest thing ever. He kept his black hair. He is a real sport... Even through the times when he has been bad, like humping anything he can, he's been my little brother. My little brother. Oh I love my little brother!

Here's what happened to him:

He was born with a birth defect. He has a bad liver problem, kidney stones, and some other stones. You have to cure this before the dog is 6 months old, or else it will end up like Herhsey. And we just found out about it. Like I've said, when we bought him he was really sick. He went completely (gah can't think of the word!!!) numb. He couldn't move anything but his eyes. He was rushed to the vet and recovered. Later on one of our roadtrips to my family in a different state, we met someone who has bought 2 Yorkies from the same breeder. When she bought them, they died and she sued the breeder.

No!! I can't imagine how empty my life will be without Hershey!

I'm going to have to get a picture sometime for you guys to see. All I have here is old, young pictures.


Thank you to ANYONE who read this whole rant. I really appreciate the love and caring of you. You understand how badly hurt I can be and how bad of an impact this is in some people's hearts. I've, not to mention my family has, gone through enough things in life. Thank goodness I don't live on the streets, not yet. This made it all worse. I will miss my little brother, Edward Panini.

PS!!!!! I do NOT want anyone saying "Hug!" "Get better!" "Aw you/that poor thing!" "Aw sowwy D:" Sorry but I would like deeper comments than that. Those actually make me feel MORE sad...</sub></sup>